Bleeding Hearts and Bleeding Orphans: A Sign of the Times

A few minutes ago, I sat here trying to think of what to write today. I was surfing through a few sites at the same time, and came across the photo of the little girl covered in the blood of her parents, taken after American troops had opened fire upon their car in Tal Afar. Both of her parents died. Her father had been so riddled with bullets that his skull had caved in.

Just as the world of this innocent child and all of her siblings caved in at that very same moment.

Nothing will ever be the same for them again. They won't be the same. They, and their lives, have been completely altered forever. Their parents - who represented their whole world, who represented the only safety and security that they might have felt in a very insecure, unstable Iraq, where one never knows from one second to the next whether they will remain alive - are gone. Their parents are gone. Their world is gone. Any small vestige of safety and security they might have felt are gone. All gone. They are orphans. Alone. Frightened. Grief-stricken. Angry. Confused. Lost.

Imagine, for just one single moment, what it would be like to be that little girl in the photo. Just one single moment.

Try to put yourself in her shoes.

Can you? Can you imagine it?

I can. Even though I have never been in exactly the same situation. I have never, thankfully, seen both of my parents blown away before my very eyes. I have never been covered in the blood of my mother and father. Still, I can empathize with such loss, and the feelings and thoughts associated with it.

And because I could, the tears began to roll down my cheeks as I looked at that photo, and the others in the series that included the images of her wounded brother - and another brother, a tiny, little boy, completely and utterly traumatized and confused by the events. As the tears fell, and my heart grew heavier and heavier, feeling as though it would burst at any second, I asked myself,

"Will I ever be strong enough? Will I ever get used to this? Will I ever be able to face such suffering without flinching?"

What I find somewhat interesting is that this isn't the first time I have seen these photos. When I first saw them, I had the same reaction. The second and third time, I was sad, but did not break down in tears. For some reason today, they hit me hard again, and I'm not sure whether that is a good or a bad thing. In one sense, it is good in that it means I haven't lost that which makes it possible for me to feel for others. I haven't lost my empathy. My soul. On the other hand, it means I am still not strong enough to be able to handle what may very well be some very difficult times ahead. But maybe the way is to find a balance between the two, yes? Between strength and feeling. Between the masculine and the feminine. To feel, but rather than letting those feelings weaken you - make you incapable of doing something - let those feelings provide you with the strength and motivation for action, movement, creativity.

I have been described, quite recently actually, as being a "strong person", although others would also call me a "bleeding heart" - a name that is considered to be an insult in this day and age when those who don't feel are in control of the world. I suppose I am both strong and emotional, both "masculine" and feminine - more so the latter on some days - like today. Today, while my heart may be "bleeding" for that little girl and her siblings, I find some comfort in the fact that at least I have a heart that can bleed. Unlike those who ridicule and criticize others who "bleed" for the suffering of others, who feel for others. Those who may not have hearts of their own. **

So, today, my heart is with that little blood-soaked girl and her siblings again. Today, they are orphans. Tomorrow, maybe they will be freedom fighters. Freedom fighters born in the blood of their parents. Whether they will be freedom fighters of the sort that kill others, or of the sort that bring life to others, will remain to be seen.

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** From a discussion forum, see: "Parents Blown Away Trying to Run Checkpoint"

Quote:

Really, the main reason I bring up this typical spread of not-so-subtle anti-Americanism from the BBC is to see if anyone out there has heard anything concerning the incident, outside of what the media has reported -- mainly, whether the two parents were trying to make a suicide run, or if they were simply complete frigging idiots.

Either way, I shed no tears for them.

My sister (who is pretty much hopeless) sent this link to me, sobbing that it "breaks her heart" (she blames the soldiers). I'd love to be able to lay on her any inside story there might be to this, in addition to the hard, cold fact that these two parents are entirely responsible for getting themselves killed and orphaning their five kids.


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